💛 Everyone Deserves to Pass Away Peacefully

On my mom’s last day, I took her hand, apologized, and promised her that I would do everything I could to make sure no one else has to suffer the way she did.

Because there were no hospital beds available, she was transferred back to her nursing home, and because of the move, she missed out on the continuous comfort and medication she needed to remain peaceful during her final days.

Before You Move Someone at End of Life

If your loved one is in Emergency, and the doctor says the kindest course is comfort care / end-of-life care / palliation, but there are no hospital beds available, do not assume it is safe to simply move them back to their nursing home.

Do not assume the care plan started in Emergency will automatically continue after the transfer.

Believing that a nursing home will follow hospital protocols or emergency doctor orders can be a heartbreaking mistake. Before your loved one is moved, get the nursing home's specific care plan in writing.

Ask the receiving facility to confirm exactly how they will maintain the comfort-care plan with zero delay. Specifically, ask for:

• Clear, active orders for symptom management.

• Scheduled medications (not just "as needed" or PRN) to prevent pain or distress from taking hold.

• The specific staff member responsible for ensuring there is no gap in care the moment they arrive.

If the comfort-care plan is not clear and firmly confirmed, do not move your loved one. A peaceful passing in the Emergency Department may be kinder than transferring them to a facility that does not follow the agreed plan and unintentionally prolongs their suffering.

A transfer at end of life is not just a move from one building to another. It can be the difference between a peaceful death and a horrifying ordeal.

Mom always said, “Getting old ain’t for wimps.”

Turns out, dying ain’t for wimps either!

If you have a story or experience that could help others, please email me. Every story may help people better navigate end-of-life care and prevent the system from failing our loved ones. ❤️